Love Or Lust

Kemi-Amushan

Most people misconstrue the meaning of love and infatuation. What is the difference between infatuation and true love? It is pretty hard to tell sometimes, right? And sometimes, when we are in love with a great guy, we are afraid of taking the next step because we are afraid what we are feeling might not be love, but infatuation. And we do not want to waste our time, money, and emotions on a relationship that is not real.

So what is the difference between the two? There is really just one thing that separates true love from infatuation. Can you guess what that “one thing” is? In a bit dearies. First of all, let us talk about why it is important to know the difference between lust, infatuation, and true love. The painful truth is that when a relationship is based on lust or infatuation, there is simply no hope for it. Nada. The relationship will fail within a few months or worse, it stagnates over several years, but never reaches the kind of true love and happiness we are all searching for. That means if your relationship is founded on lust or infatuation, I would advise you not to pursue it any further. 9 times out of 10, it will end up a waste of your time and emotions.

So what is that one thing that separates true love from lust and infatuation? it is simple, “Your personal happiness”. I want you to think about the guy you are in love with right now. Think about the good times you are having with him. Now ask yourself: If your relationship did not work out, and you did not end up with him, would you still be happy? (Be 100% honest!)

If you answered “yes” and I hope you did then that is great news. What you feel for him is true love, because you do not depend on him for your happiness and his presence only serves to make your beautiful life even better. But if you answered “no” (or “maybe”), then I am sorry. What you are feeling is probably just lust or infatuation simply because you cannot be happy without him. After all, true love comes from within. You got to love yourself first. That is what I always say. Happiness is an inside job. So are you in love? Or are you just infatuated?

So what do you do when you are infatuated? The best thing to do is to take some time and build a relationship with yourself first. Particularly, you will want to:

1.) Get rid of any addictions (every addiction is an escape from facing yourself)
2.) Develop a self-love that is based on living in the moment, and wanting only the best for yourself
3.) Develope superstar dating confidence, living in the moment and not in the past
4.) Meet new friends, rekindle old ones, and make peace with your enemies
5.) When you are ready, start dating again and get ready for real love this time!

let us turn our attention to another pressing question: How can you tell how that guy really feels? How can you tell if he is just lusting over you or is truly in love with you?

Again, it is not always easy to tell. After all, you cannot just ask him “If we did not end up together, would you still be happy?”

The most accurate way of telling how he really feels is to see if your love and connection with him keeps growing. If your relationship sours within 6 months of starting out, it is probably lust.

But if your love for each other keeps growing well past the 6-month mark, congratulations – I am pretty confident it is true love! Of course, just because it is true love does not mean it is “happily ever after” from here on. You got to “keep the fire burning” in the relationship and that is no easy task if you do not know how it is done.

The problem with many of us is that we tend to worry about the future a lot. Not that there is anything wrong with planning ahead. It is just that worrying about your relationship in the future might actually hurt your relationship at present. Focus on the now. Make the best out of the now. Going on a date with him? Make it an unforgettable one. Having a conversation with him? Make it a happy one. You get the idea!

Now, you might be wondering exactly how you can make the most out of your time with him. Should you go out with him more often? Should you buy him gifts? Should you get more intimate with him. Thankfully, there is a much faster, much easier way into his heart, one that does not require a lot of time, effort, money, or preparation to do. And that is Communication.

Think about it. You talk everyday. You text everyday. You chat everyday. Why not fill every single conversation with the words that make him fall deeper and deeper in love with you? Trust me, it works like magic. Communication is very key in every relationship, not just a loving relationship. Make him fall deeper in love with you today.

To our happiness. Cheers.



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