How to overcome pornography
It is my singular honour and privilege to welcome you once again to our anti-pornography crusade. At this time, we shall be doing some form of therapy for people struggling with the porn habit. This is a warning to none-users or occasional-users of porn to steer clear because it is not easy to undo once you are involved. At this juncture, I would like to make a very sad observation. There is a monumental amount of sincerity amongst Westerners, than amongst Africans and Nigerians, in the quest for a lasting solution to the pornography phenomenon. I say this because my extensive research around this problem unearths the fact that the predominant amount of solutions to the porn problem came from Westerners.
Available online is a vast amount of pornography antidotes suggested by predominantly Western thinkers who are fighting tooth and nail to see an end to porn. Most of the ideas I share on this platform come from such people. It is so disheartening to note that porn is gladly tolerated in Nigeria, even though we all know that it is against our conscience and culture. But that is a topic for another day. I apologize for digressing but it was necessary because all the suggestions for an end to porn addiction that I shall be sharing I actually got online from male and female Western thinkers. So, if you are battling with porn addiction, read on as therein lie some solutions to your problem!
Sheila Gray Gregoire’s anti-pornography tips
This speaker, writer, blogger first suggests prayer as a solution to porn. The porn user needs some form of religion, which invokes the highest power available in the universe: God Almighty! And I can’t agree less. In my successful battle against porn, God was the Principal Liberating factor. So, pray your way out of porn. Secondly, she asked the porn user to look at the root of the problem by examining its causative factors: it could be boredom, stress, frustration, failure, depression etc.
Knowing this would help trace its origin and give and insight on how to tackle it. Next, she suggested a replacement therapy whereby the user replaces the porn habit with another habit: it could be reading, writing, exercise, praying, phone calls, texting etc. Just make sure each time you feel the urge to view porn you actually do the alternative. Then she warns that the subject should know that there would be relapses but the each time it happens, he or she should analyse the reason behind it so as to guard against a reoccurrence. Finally, she says, “Flee from everything that reels you into porn!”
Brian’s anthology of anti-pornography pointers
Blogger Brian did an extensive research into overcoming porn addiction by collecting the expert views of 10 sex health therapists. Below is a synopsis of their thoughts.
He suggests you face the root of porn squarely by facing headlong those problems that led you to start using porn in the first place. This could be stress, depression, frustration, boredom, injuries, physical, mental or emotional pain, anxiety, embarrassment etc. Face these problems instead of medicating yourself with porn because porn is not a pain reliever but a real pain in the neck! Next, you have to decide to quit porn forever and get comfortable with the fact that you will never see it again. Finally, you need to focus on positive things such as family, career, religion, ideas, dreams, health etc. Don’t be obsessed with NOT watching porn but rather focus on positive things.
He simply suggests what he calls the “Nightmare Motivation” meaning that you should try to get rid of porn knowing that it is your worst nightmare.
He, too, suggests tackling porn from its causative source. Next, he suggests good company as a panacea for porn. Get involved with the right persons and confide in wise and informed personalities like elders, religious authorities like pastors and imams, friends with good characters and the like.
He suggests getting cozy with a support group. You should also build on your purpose in life; quoting from Friedrich Nietzshe who says, “He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how”, he argues that consolidating on your life’s purpose will give you the needed motivation to expunge porn from your system.
George N. Collins
He emphasizes the power of choice. You have to realize you have the power to say, “No!” to porn. Know that you are neither your mind nor story. You are you. Define your individuality and be free from porn.
He suggests that having a burning desire to change can provide a lasting solution to the problem and he admits that there would be relapses but you need not be discouraged when they happen. You must see yourself as somebody with a bright future and not let your life be defined by your porn addiction. You are you, not porn personified!
He suggests you protect yourself from your “gremlin”, that is that tiny voice in your head that tells you you will never be free from porn, that once a porn addict, always a porn addict! Next, get comfortable with your discomfort: your problems will eventually go away.
Finally, he suggests you feel the consequences of porn before they happen. Imagine the tiredness, self-disgust, disappointment, foggy-headedness etc. that you will feel after viewing porn. Next, undergo the porn baloney: ask questions and raise answers on your porn addiction. Like this, you will gain insight into the problem by breaking the porn triangle through introspection. Use your imagination: imagine a life without porn! Then, go and do something more interesting instead.
Here are some feedbacks from our last issue.
“Greetings, my dear brother. Well done on the well- crafted write-up. May God help us all in our struggle to stay chaste. God bless you.” (08028335623).
“Can pornography be good for married couples since the need good sex for procreation? Thanks and nice day.” (07081875684)
“As for me, I like porn because it enhanced my lost sex life with my hubby. After my first issue, I lost interest in sex. My husband was complaining and I didn’t know what to do until I started watching porn. I have a lot of urge when I watch porn and I’m able to respond well to my hubby. Thanks and remain blessed.” (07036333664)
“I just read your article on porn. You made sense.”(08066878756).
Let me know what you think
Let’s keep the conversation flowing. Follow me on twitter @isaiahogodo. Send a friend request to Isaiah Ogodo on Facebook and join the Facebook group #Let’s expunge pornography from our world today. Call or text 08026229520 and email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.