21 strategies to overcome marital delay – Part 2
But so many rather than changing their minds, they will choose to deceive themselves, rather than calling it quit, they will look for prayer partners to help salvage the situation. So many people will choose to endure the relationship until things begin to fall apart before their very eyes without any remedy. In so many cases, their time would have been wasted and many possible suitors would have passed over. So many singles erroneously believe that love is blind but I quite believe in what Dr. James Dobson said that one must open his or her eyes very wide before marriage and close it a little bit in marriage. Love is not blind. God is love and God is not blind. It is only infatuation that makes people to walk in insincerity and pretenses. Love is open, love is real, true love is not hypocritical.
Once you are convinced that you made a mistake in choosing the guy or the lady you are going out with or that you are in courtship with, it is better to quit than to continue to manage, endure or patch it up. So many do that because they are afraid of what others will say. Some are so desperate, thinking that they can no longer get anyone if they ever quit. Please understand that broken courtship is better than broken marriage. I have heard in our singles programmes the erroneous assumptions of many youths, some erroneously think that it is divorce if you quit a relationship, while in courtship. While some erroneously believe that the moment you consent to marry someone and people or relations have known, then you have reached the point of no return. These are mere but very dangerous misconceptions and a perverted truth of the scriptures.
God hates divorce but quitting a courtship is not divorce. In the same vein, there is nothing like a point of no return until you are joined together as husband and wife. For instance, where a man or a lady is not born again, or where a man is beating you, or a lady does not listen to you or she is wasteful, disrespectful, cantankerous, incorrigible and arrogant or where the man is lazy, indiscipline and arrogant you will be digging your own grave if you sheepishly continue with the relationship because of what others will say or because of the time or money you have invested or because it might be difficult to get another person. It is never too late to be right, no matter how far you have gone in the wrong direction, you need to turn back if you do not want to end your journey in pains and regrets.
Unfortunately, many are not able to properly discern some of these things. They believe so much that love is blind so they pretend not to even notice the character flaws and other fundamental issues that would have made them to back out. Sometimes, this is due to the fact that the people involved in such relationships are already engaged in premarital sex, which is nothing but a sin before God. (Heb 13:4). There is no need for you to continue to deceive yourself. It is better to quit now than to continue to endure or think that the person will change. Face the reality, can you continue to endure when you are married if he or she refuses to change? You do not need to have someone else before you make up your mind. It is better to quit such relationship on time so that your precious time will not be wasted.
Rev. Solomon Ojigiri
Everwinning Faith Ministries Int’l
31, Oritse Str. Off Obafemi Awolowo Way, Balogun Bus-stop, Ikeja
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