Can Christian couples use sex toys and other libido enhancement substances?
• ‘If Any Couple Has Problems In The Area Of Intimacy Or Sex, They Should Go To God, Who Would See Them Through’
The sexual area of a marriage is important, as it is considered essential to the wellbeing of the union. And though liberalism now rules the modern world, where individuals unabashedly experiment and indulge in lifestyles that were formerly considered indecent, there are still some that find it hard discussing such intimate matters openly. So, this category of people suffers in silence, despite the fact that they are not finding sexual fulfilment in their marriage. As sexual satisfaction seems to have now become a major issue in relationships, with couples reporting serious bedroom challenges, should Christians keep such issues to themselves and not discuss them, with a view to finding the right solutions? Is it proper for Christians to resort to such things as performance enhancing drugs, sex toys and the likes for sexual gratification? What should a Christian couple do in such a situation? CHRIS IREKAMBA and ISAAC TAIWO report.‘Toys And Whatever Name They Call Them Are Alien To Africa And The Church’
(Archbishop Joseph I. Ojo, Presiding Bishop of Calvary Kingdom Church, Lagos-Badagry Expressway)
First and foremost, we must understand that God created both the man and woman. In Genesis 2:18, God says, “It is not good that the man should be alone, I will make a help meet for him.” Bedroom affairs are not supposed to be made public by couples. The level of freedom that is prevalent these days is purely against the Word of God and His will
In the Bible, when marital issues are to be talked about or mentioned, the writer often uses euphemism. In 1 Corinthians 7, Apostle Paul wrote: “It is good for a man not to touch a woman…” The touch in this passage is referring to love making, but his point was made without the use of direct term.
These days, people are not cautious about such things. Another example is in Proverbs 5:15-18: “Drink water out of thine own cistern, running water out of thine own well. Let thy fountain be dispersed abroad and rivers of waters in the streets. Let them only be thine own and not strangers with thee. Let thy fountain be blessed and rejoice with wife of thy youth.” Here, the writer also used euphemism. He was talking about chastity. This should be the rule.
These days, however, people tend to believe that anything the Western world projects is always the best. But this is far from the truth. Romans 1:28 describes today’s liberation… “And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to reprobate mind to do those things, which are not convenient, being filled with unrighteousness, fornication, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness, full of envy, murder, etc.
God gave them over to reprobate minds deprived of all sense of decency. The children of God must, however, not emulate them, because we are the light of the world. With the exception of those on medical recommendation due to health challenges, the issue of performance enhancing drugs is ungodly. Sexual toys and whatever name they are called are alien to Africa and the Church. Only those given to reprobate minds are held in bondage by it.‘It Is Completely Wrong, Because It Shows Lack Of Self-control’
(Rt. Rev. (Dr.) Isaac Ayo Olawuyi, Bishop, Diocese of Lagos Mainland, Methodist Church Nigeria)
SEX is rarely spoken about in the Bible. Metaphors are used you to describe sexual activities in the Bible such as (knowing) (intimacy) (sleep with) and so on. Sex is a sacred act, honourable, secret and not for public consumption.
God, Who actually instituted marriage, approves marriage between a man and a woman and it is biblically acceptable. Sex within marriage is good and pure. The Scripture endorses sex and encourages sexual fulfilment for a couple.
Apostle Paul encouraged the couple to fulfil the conjugal right for each other. Bible puts it this way: “Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control” (1Cor 7:3-6)
The problem begins, when sexual fulfilment is no longer found within marriage, which may be on the part of the man or woman, for one reason or the other unable to play his or her part well.
In the case that the couple lacks sexual satisfaction, they should seek help of medical experts or marriage counsellors.
The use of sexual enhancements may vary from food, drinks, drugs and many more. But medical experts should be consulted to know which one will not be harmful to the body or affect the health of the couple.The use of toys for achieving sexual satisfaction is completely wrong, because it shows lack of self-control and giving in to unnecessary indulgence and animalistic orgies.
Christian position holds that we should, as Christians, not give in to sexual orgy. Ability to exercise self-control is one of the gifts of the Holy Spirit. Paul says, in Philippians chapter 4:11-13: “Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content: I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”
These days, sexual issues have been trivialised and the sacredness of it has been jettisoned. Our society must be cautioned not to allow the sacredness of sex be thrown to the dustbin. Sexual perversion of all kinds being displayed on the television screen through home videos and pop music should be stopped. Anything that has to do with sex should be a private matter. Media regulatory bodies should be set up to regulate and monitor what should be displayed for public consumption. Sodomic attitudes and activities should not be allowed to sweep all morals and disciplines to the gutters.‘Any Act, Or Use Of Toy, Outside God’s Approval Is Ungodly And Unacceptable’
(Rev. Abraham Ayomide is in charge of Foursquare Gospel Church, District Headquarters, Sango Ota, Ogun State)
USAGE of sex toys to enhance sexual satisfaction is an aberration and completely out of God’s will for man. Sex is a holy practice and only approved in marriage. There is no doubt that many couples have problems, which they keep to themselves. Many also have also carried over problems into their marriage.
It is erroneously considered a taboo by some wives to initiate the act of sex, so they would not be regarded as harlots. The truth of the matter is that any of the two can initiate the act. Either of them has no right to deny the other. It is expressly stated in the scriptures in I Corinthians Chapter 7 starting from verse one, that couples are not even allowed to stay away from sex unless by mutual consent. When all the laws of God concerning sex are observed, there would be nothing like dissatisfaction. Any act, or use of toy, outside God’s approval is ungodly and unacceptable in the Church. The coming together of husband and wife is a covenant, which must be respected by both parties.
It is mandatory for the husband to love the wife and this shouldn’t be superficial, because it is God’s law and demand that the husband should love the wife. Any man who refuses to love his wife is violating God’s law. It is equally the responsibility of the wife to unconditionally submit her body to the husband. Any wife who has to base sex on one type of demand, denying the husband because the man has not met her need in a particular area is not fulfilling God’s law and demand.
Biblical love is without condition and fulfilling Christian marriage is spiritual. Using sex toys is in sharp contrast to God’s demand that Christians should present their bodies a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is reasonable service.
Church leaders should be concerned about ladies, who are between 30 years and 40 years old in the church and are not married. There is every tendency for those in this category to want to indulge in such unholy and ungodly act of making use of sex toys to satisfy their sexual urge, but it is ungodly.
The bottom line is that as many as fear God and would want to restrict themselves to His approval as to the right way to enjoy sex in marriage would avoid usage of sex toys.
‘Couples Indulging In Carnal Ways
Of Satisfying Sexual Desire Are Not
Allowed In Catholic Church’
(Monsignor John Aniagwu, General/Episcopal Vicar, Ikeja Region, Archdiocese of Lagos, St. Leo Catholic Church, Ikeja, Lagos)
WE do not allow anything unbiblical in Catholic Church; neither do we encourage sexual gratification in any form outside of marriage.
The use of sex toys or whatever it is called is unacceptable in our Church.Such excess, as masturbation, which is a sin against God, is not allowed.What we accept as the standard, approved by God and ordained by Him is sex between formally married couples.
Any man or woman indulging in homosexuality, lesbianism and looking for other carnal ways of satisfying sexual desires is not allowed in the Catholic Church.
‘Genuine Children Of God Would Know It Is Not The Way To Go’
(Special Apostle Sunday Folorunsho Korode, General Leader, Cherubim and Seraphim Church, Ayo Ni O)
THE important thing is to look at the word of God, as well as the dictate of the Holy Spirit.
The world is degenerating to carnality by explaining it away that “God understands,” while indulging in so many vices contrary to God’s will and approval.
A lot of ways have evolved to circumvent the natural use of man, which men engage in, to their own perdition, including sexual relationship even between married couples.First, it must be established that sex is only allowed between married couples according to the scriptures.
Making use of artificial methods, such as sex toys to get satisfaction in marriage is not approved by God.
According to the book of Romans1: 24, which says that God gave them up to uncleanness through the lust of their own hearts, those who refuse to follow the laid down principles of God in the order He has created things, to dishonour their own bodies between themselves.
“For this cause, God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature.
“And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompense of their error, which was meet.“And as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things, which are not convenient.”
From the above scriptural texts, it can be deduced that whenever we drift from God’s plan and laid down principles to have self-satisfaction, we incur His wrath.
If any couple has problems in the area of intimacy or sex, they should go to God, Who would see them through. Every act comes from the mind. Man has to be careful, when the mind begins to be perverse because of God’s judgment.
What God approves between legally married couples should suffice and God does not approve that man goes extra mile beyond the line He has drawn, thereby becoming vain in his imagination and subsequently becoming fools according to the scriptures.Makers of toys helping people to satisfy their sexual desire are business people looking for money without considering the consequence. But genuine children of God would know it is not the way to go, with a view to meeting their emotional needs.Christians should return to prayers, when the mind begins drifting and tilting in that direction. Legally married couples up to the age of 90 and above can live godly life and enjoy their marriage without offending God.‘Christian Couples Should Be Able To Discipline Themselves Without Imitating The World’
(The Most Revd. Emmanuel Chukwuma, Archbishop of Enugu Province, Church of Nigeria, Anglican Communion)
THE situation is very pathetic. Christians are not expected to participate in the use of sex toys for whatever reasons. The proper thing is that any couple having problem in this area should approach a special counselor or ask ministers of God on what to do in the right and biblical way.
In case the man or the woman is having a problem or deficiency of any form, they should see their leader in the church for the right solution. This matter is restricted to married couples.Other vices like masturbation, homosexuality, lesbianism, among others, are not permitted in the Anglican Church.
As Christians, another important factor is ‘discipline,’ which is very crucial and couples should be able to discipline themselves without adopting to the style of the world. When the mind is busy thinking about heaven as Christians, there would be no room to satisfy the flesh with every unholy and ungodly demand. An idle mind is the devil’s workshop. A true Christian should have what is called ‘self-control’.
A Christian is expected to be busy meditating on the Word of God at all times. The Bible says in Romans 8:1 that, “there is now no condemnation to them, which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.” Verse eight says that: “So, then, they that are in the flesh cannot please God,” while verse 14 says that: “for as many that are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God.”Can the Spirit of God then lead a son or daughter of God to degenerate to the level of using sex toys, No! Emphatically No!!
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