Pressurising your unmarried daughters to get married

Bishop Charles Ighele

I have heard some single ladies say such words as: “I will do anything to get a husband.” Many single ladies of marriageable age, who have given in to family and societal pressures to get married at all cost, have lived to regret it.

I am a marriage and family minister and I believe whole-heartedly in marriage because it is a creation of God. I also know that not everyone gets married as quickly as they would have wanted. Today, I want to appeal to ladies of marriageable age who are not yet married to GENTLY and RESPECTFULLY resist pressures from loved ones and society that make them feel bad just because they are not yet married.

Do not because of what society says rush into a marriage you may regret. Know this; no matter how long you have waited for a husband material to come your way, God’s marital will for your life will come to pass, if getting married is also one of your greatest desires. I know it will come to pass because Jesus said so in Mark 11:24 “Therefore, I say unto you, what things soever YOU DESIRE, when you pray believe that you receive them, and you shall have them.” God can never lie. He has said in His word, that He made them male and female. So for you, there is a male out there.

When you allow societal pressures put you in a panicky state of mind, your faith in God’s ability weakens and your heart gets filled with worry. Once the devil turns your eyes from God’s ability and fills your mind with doubts, he will begin to suggest things that will lead you into an unhappy life. He can say “why not have sexual intercourse with that man, if you do, he will marry you.” “ Why not dress provocatively?” The suggestions are numerous, but remember that nothing that the devil plans for you will do you any good.

A lady of marriageable age asked her mother, “mummy where are you going?” the woman replied that she was going for a night vigil in her church to pray for her to get married. The daughter did not find this funny at all.

I want to speak to parents of single ladies that societal expectations already put enough pressure that makes some feel that being single is a state to be endured and not enjoyed. But this is contrary to God’s word, which says … “the unmarried woman cares for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit…” (1 Cor 7:34)

In God’s plan, single ladies are to be filled with joy serving God with all their hearts and not pining and sorrowing over their single state. I believe it is parents’ duty to bring up their daughters to find the joy in every season of life. To every of life’s seasons, God has a special plan for your daughter’s life. When she was a toddler, God had a plan for her. Now that she is a single lady, God still has a plan for her. When she becomes a married mother of children, God will still have a plan for her. For every season God has a plan and purpose.

Parents should, therefore, not make their daughters feel less proud just because they are not yet married. Do not also make her feel you are less proud of her because she is unmarried. Instead, encourage her to joyfully work for God in this season of life. As a parent, help build your daughter’s faith and not tactlessly feed her worries. Love you.
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Email: lovearena@holyspiritmission.org

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