It always pays
This is actually an experience that a lady shared with me. And I hope the lessons speak to you, as they have spoken to me.
“One of the stories that I read here made me want to tell my story. Maybe, someone will learn a lesson or two from my experience.I had just joined my in-laws’ family as a new bride. My husband and I were living in Lagos then. Also living with us was a younger brother of his, whom my husband always tagged ‘lazy’.
Sometimes, my husband would even ask me not to give him food. But I said to myself “not me”. For as long as I am in this house…that young man will not go hungry under my watch.’’
So, I devised means of sending food to him. Sometimes, I would emerge from the kitchen carrying a bucket (especially when my husband is in the sitting room) as if carrying water, but inside that bucket is a plate of food and spoon for my brother in-law.The guy in question is such an easy-going guy. The brother saw him as a never- do-well but I saw a young man who was yet to find his bearing in life.
I am the eldest and only girl in my family. I have younger brothers and I see a lot of similarities between them and that particular brother-in-law of mine.
The same guy that my husband ‘bad-mouths’ in the bedroom is often seen chatting with him in the sitting room and the two brothers would be laughing heartily. I told myself that it’s only a “naïve somebody’ that hasn’t realised that at the end of the day…blood will always prove to the thicker than water.”
Things continued this way…when in a certain mood, my husband would instruct me not to give food to his younger brother. When ‘happy’…he would give no instructions at all.
As dutiful a wife as I was, I never listened to the instruction of starving his brother. Whatever we ate in that house…he ate.I must confess though that my brother in-law had an annoying attitude of always leaving the plates (after eating) under the bed. So, I would end up taking my plates to the kitchen.
Fast-forward to a few years later and the same guy is now in Europe.Right from the early years that he left the country till this day…I have neither bought the phone I use nor the cars that I drive by myself. All came from him. And we are talking about 15 years now!It got to a point that whenever any package comes from him…it’s assumed that it belongs to me. He doesn’t even give his sisters as much as he gives me.
The desire to tell this story became strong because of the cheque that has just arrived (from him) for me. The amount is unbelievable. Yet, what still confounds me is that I am currently separated from their brother (I couldn’t give him a child and he brought in another woman) but the family still cares for me.
My brother in-law never stopped recounting how much I treated him with dignity-when he was a nobody.Truth remains that given his condition then, it would have been a lot more convenient to treat him anyhow. And still get away with it.But herein comes the advice that I have for us today…LEARN TO TREAT PEOPLE WITH DIGNITY, irrespective of their circumstances.
And with in-laws…PATIENCE is it!Today, the brother that always instructed me not to give him food is also benefitting from him. You have more to gain from being good to those around you. Because, with a good person…your good deeds will always pays off. And if your kindness is abused…life will not only reward you still, it will also fight for you!’’
This lady is just a good person. Otherwise, with some women…an in-law does not even need to be a liability to be treated shabbily.
Almost like some forces used the word IN-LAW to swear for some people. Once they come into a family, in-laws become ‘enemies’ that must be fed ugly attitude. I am glad that her good deeds have spoken for her.
My prayer remains that, someday, we will all reap what we sow…especially in what we do to/for others.
In the words of some friends…
“Nobody knows the head that will wear the crown tomorrow. When you accept to marry someone, take his or her family as yours. When they wrong you, tell them but like ‘family’… fight and settle.’’
“The reward of goodness is never far off, we keep meeting it in the journey of life.’’ “Kindness is never erased in the heart of God even if it is erased in our heads’’.
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