To the struggling young girls…
Let me start by giving us a glimpse of the message from a reader that motivated this discourse.“My cousin is 18 years old, she finished secondary school two years ago. She has not been able to go back to school because of financial reasons.“There is this guy that helps her out financially and they were just good.
“When the elder sister of this my cousin was doing her marriage introduction sometime back, their father didn’t have any clothes to wear for the occasion.“Out of helplessness, my cousin called the guy and begged for his assistance. He accepted to assist, but on the condition that she came to the house for the money. On getting to his house, the guy forced himself on her and that resulted to a pregnancy.
“She claimed that he had asked her to marry him but she kept turning him down with the excuse that she is too young for marriage and that they should give themselves some time …while he also finds something better to do. He is a taxi driver.“When the guy learned that my cousin is pregnant for him, he started acting funny, like one who wants to run away.“I summoned courage to ask for his plans regarding the situation at hand and he claimed that he was planning to do “introduction” but my cousin tells me that she doesn’t love him. And maintains that she is too young to be married.”“Please, I need your views on how best to handle this situation. I don’t know if I should advise against the marriage or encourage her to keep the pregnancy. The guy is about 26 years of age.’’
Firstly, if the guy truly forced himself on that girl, he should be made to understand that HE DID WRONG…irrespective of the state of their relationship! Giving her money isn’t a license to force himself on her.As for your cousin who seems to understand so well what she is TOO YOUNG for…
How come she didn’t understand that she is too young to go for monies that her family can’t afford to give her?This is what happens when parents who can’t provide for their kids also fail in shepherding them. What sort of father sits idly while his teenage daughter goes finding the money to get him clothes?
It is very damaging to young girls when the “bread- winner” toga is forced on them early in life.
A lot of them grapple with all sorts of ABUSE in the process…experiences that scar them for life!I don’t even know why the issue of marrying a boy that she is clearly not interested in should come up for discussion.
When young people make “mistakes,” they shouldn’t be forced into a marriage (they are ill- prepared for) as a result.Eight times out of 10, it doesn’t end well. It is not always wise to let where you are form the basis of your decision. WHERE YOU ARE GOING should play bigger in the picture.
If you people force that girl to marry that guy, you will have succeeded in darkening a chapter in her life. Let her decide what she wants, please.I am surprised she could stay home for two whopping years doing nothing but content to go asking a taxi driver for money! Going to school is not the only way she can add value to herself.In those wasted two years, she could have learned catering, dressmaking, hair-styling, etc. Most young people that did catering are regularly employed by fast food chains. All that money the Taxi guy was giving her could have even come handy in engaging in those ventures.
Dear young girls…
Please resist the urge to use your body to effect the economic welfare of your “family.” There are certain damages that live with one for life. And such “damage” usually makes happiness (later on in life) a huge STRUGGLE!Also learn to think SKILL ACQUISITION if the money for schooling isn’t there, yet. It is easier to find a well-meaning individual who can support your drive for skill acquisition than frivolities.To the genuinely determined…God sends helping hands. Don’t start early on to develop a taste for “easy money” and think you can always go scot-free for “teasing cock.”
Nothing derails faster than easy money and before you know it…you have used a good chunk of the time you would have expended on self-development on handouts.Your current situation isn’t as important as WHERE YOU ARE GOING. Always have that at the back of your mind and learn to close your eyes to anything that isn’t setting you on the path to WHERE you want to find yourself in life.
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