9 Signs You Are In A Casual Relationship
Everybody wants something from a relationship. The thing about dating is what you want might not be the same thing your partner wants; and this is perfectly fine. However, it’s important to know where you stand so that you don’t go raising your hopes and planning a future long-term while the other person believe he/she is in a casual relationship.
IDENTIFYING A CASUAL RELATIONSHIP –
- The Relationship Isn’t Progressive
In order for a relationship to grow, it has to be nurtured. You have to put effort into making it more than what it is and this is what boosts solidity and encourages certainty. If you notice that you are the only one trying to move your relationship from one level to the next, then it’s most likely casual. A person who isn’t willing to aid the maturity of your relationship isn’t ready for something real.
- Your Partner Would Rather Take/Receive Than Give
Is your partner more about what he/she stands to gain from your relationship? What does he/she bring to the table? When a person isn’t ready to make sacrifices that could eventually cause them to be deeply involved with you, that person is looking for a casual relationship. Not giving anything allows this person to feel like he/she can walk away at any time – a sense of control.
- Look at Their Track Record
Usually, you shouldn’t judge people by their past. But while it is true that people do change, the truth is that sometimes they don’t. If your partner has told you that he/she hasn’t been great at managing real, meaningful relationships in the past, feel free to take this as a sign that they still aren’t ready for such a commitment. And I don’t mean ‘in the past’ as a one-off experience. Some people just aren’t capable of building something past a casual relationship. How many relationships has your partner previously committed to making successful?
- Being Elusive About Commitment
You know how some people don’t know how to say “No”? They will beat around the bush and make excuses for why they want to do something but can’t instead of just saying it outright. A person who wants a casual relationship is exactly the same way. Rather than tell you what they really want from a relationship, they will go round in ridiculous circles and never actually give you a direct answer. Worse yet, they might change the subject.
- Your Partner Has A Lot of Baggage
This is another situation where you need to take a person’s past into consideration. Some people have been hurt so much that they have shut themselves off to having meaningful relationships. While you can’t necessarily blame this person, you should also acknowledge that this is a sign. It’s even more of a red flag if this person brings it up continuously. Don’t fall into the alluring trap of thinking you can be the one to change this person.
- Avoiding People You Are Close To
Because getting close to people who care about you shows a certain level of commitment, someone who isn’t really looking for something real will most likely avoid them. It’s another example of a situation where someone isn’t really ready to invest emotionally in a relationship. By avoiding people close to you, they are ensuring they have a clean break when they leave.
- Constantly Emphasizing the Negatives of a Relationship
If someone is constantly talking down real relationships, this is a huge red flag. A person who seizes every opportunity to tell whoever will listen all the ways in which having a meaningful relationship is definitely not ready for one. Personally, I wouldn’t even consider having a casual relationship with this person.
- Evident Trust Issues
A person who can’t, or refuses to, trust other people with his/her emotions and feelings is not ready for a real relationship. This person will most likely spend the entire time you are together waiting for you to betray him/her. While this isn’t always the case, it is more likely than not that you will not be able to have a meaningful connection with this person.
- Your Partner Constantly Craves “Freedom”
Is your partner always raving about the importance of freedom? Maybe freedom or independence is more important to this person than you think. Some people would rather be able to operate as free agents and consider relationships a hindrance to this. So, while he/she may be with you right now, it may not be for long if this person can tell you a good number of reasons why being single is awesome.
At the end of the day, it is up to you to recognize the signs of a causal relationship and decide if you would like to continue to have relations with this person. Whatever you decide, it’s always best to go into it fully prepared.