The Anatomy Of An Apology
We all make mistakes. It is part of being human, that’s what makes us unique, and most of all, that’s what makes the world an interesting place to live in! If we all were perfect and led flawless lives, there won’t be ways to get tried, tested or grow and learn from our past, hence the reason I have chosen this topic; “The Anatomy of an Apology.”
As you communicate with others you strive to convey your feelings through words and phrases and that’s where our actions, words or intentions come to bear on people’s distinctiveness to result to an offence.
Do you recall what they say about apologies? The first to apologise is the “bravest”, the first to forgive is the “strongest” and the first to forget is the “happiest”. But let’s not get it twisted. Apologizing isn’t about being “first” at anything, because it not a competition. The real “Apology” is that which proceeds from a heart that has acknowledged a wrong and has established a reason to say “I am sorry”.
So if this is true about apologies, it follows that an action can be called “apologizing” when the offender naturally empathizes with the one s/he has slighted, offended, or out-rightly been rude to, and reaches out to say I am sorry in an attempt to try to regain their trust.
Apology here, is then first and fore-most; “sincere” and not merely a first-played-first-winner-concept.
When we say “Anatomy”, we specifically are referring to the “Structure”, “Composition” “Makeup” or Attributes” of a thing. The effect of a true apology reflects on how healthy our relationships are, be it, family, work, customer/client or personal.
That said; let’s now look at the Anatomy of a true Apology.
A true apology has to be first and foremost the following:
An apology that is sincere is original. How do you know when an apology is sincere you ask? It reflects in the overall tone in which it is said. The public can tell when you don’t mean what you say, or worse, when you’re merely trying to say what will please the ears. If an apology then becomes an act rather than an effect, the original composition of the word “Apology” is altered!
Read this: (I wanted to tell you that you suck? Sorry if that’s offensive! See? I’m sorry, but not sorry at all…)
An expression of apology should carry a feeling of remorse telling the offended that you care about them and have every intention of treating them the way they deserve to be treated regardless of the cause of the initial issue. Hence in this case, if you are sorry; say it, but if you are not, then don’t say, it is better true than faked.
Transparency indicates that you’re not just taking ownership of what happened previously but that you are putting in effort to ensure that promises are kept. Bottom line; this will help you build, recover or sustain your relationships. People appreciate knowing that the can count on you, especially when they have reckoned with you as a friend.
Remember that when you apologise, that doesn’t make you any less a being or your apology less worthy to be received, it just means you are a master of your own situations. If you live in that truth, it makes you healthier as well as the people around you.
Joy and pleasure are never a cause for concern, so when we are committed to building relationships, let’s be committed to getting it right. When you do so, it only means you value your relationships more than your ego! Peace!!!